Ignorance is a Burden
by Jezebelle1
Summary: A look at Johnny and Devi's date through both of their eyes. Songfic. Done to the song


Ignorance is a Burden  
  
I'm walking and watching  
  
All the things I've seen before a million times  
  
It's cold neon light  
  
A stranger on his way  
  
A world, that's always been cold and gray  
  
Just wait another day  
  
Tell me now - Is this the world that you have made for me?  
  
Is this all you'll let me be?  
  
He strolled calmly, up the hill, leading to Devi's spot. He'd been there only once, once with happy memories. It was beautiful, no matter how bad he felt he had a sudden rush of admiration. The kind you get when you see a ravishing painting, or read a deep, poetic story. Everyone had always been so mean to him, but Devi was different. She was kind, she actually cared about his feelings for a while there. Maybe she'd return. That would change his eccentric life forever. But he doubted it, she hated him now, despised him, with every muscle in her body. All because he acted like a fool. Those ignorant voices that still lingered in his head! No matter how much he tried to cut them off, they returned, forcing him into solitude once more. He sighed; walking to the fence that protected the people from toppling over the edge of the cliff. The wonderful cliff, overlooking that down trodden city in which he thrived on. He leaned on the old wood posts and gazed up at the moon. It was bright and full, just as it was that fateful night spent with the former love of his life. " How could I have been so stupid?" He asked himself softly, wondering why he was so weak to a pile of Styrofoam and paint. Yet no matter how much he tried they always had a stronger force over him the he did. He wondered what that divine soul, Devi, was thinking now...  
  
Hold the children for me  
  
That scream in the night because of you  
  
It's empty - no light  
  
You've told me that I am impersonation of humanity  
  
I only want to cease to be Tell me now - Is this the only world that you have made for me?  
  
Is this all you'll let me be?  
  
Back in Devi's apartment, the windows were dark, the curtains drawn. It seemed that noone was there, but there was. Just her, lying on black satin sheets, her purplish black hair spread out around her head. She felt so dark and alone, like she was just inches away from her last breath. She sighed, wiping at a tear with the sleeve of her black nightgown. She had been thinking, she hated thinking. It always got her, well, thinking. How could she have been so creul to such a lyrical soul like Johnny? She did love him, no matter how much she tried to deny it. But people like him really shouldn't walk the Earth. They were the cause of all her woes and dispair. How sorry she felt for that poor little child living near a lunatic like him. " Here I go, blaming my faults on others..." She whispered in a teary voice. Knowing that she had destroyed Johnny and his heart, even if it had been of ice, made her feel so sinister inside. Why should she have to live with such guilt? There are such simple ways of relieving the pain, Devi.  
  
Hold me now  
  
save me from the ghosts that haunt my nights  
  
don't say goodbye  
  
when the shadows fall down on me in the night  
  
alone - again.  
  
He gazed out at the tiny firefly lights below him. He felt so powerful up here, yet so vacant inside. He knew something destructive was waiting for him back at home. He wishes Devi hadn't gone, hell, he wished he hadn't been such a fool. He had noone now. Not even the made-up friends in his head, the voices that haunted and chilled his mind could comfort his injured soul. He might as well be dead psysically. He was in his wicked mind.  
  
Just for your love I will be undead for all eternity  
  
You're watching over me  
  
Lovely creature - darkest night  
  
Come back again to me  
  
It's just like you...were once before  
  
She had risen from bed, now entirely unable to sleep. Her fatigue was gone. How could she? You've lost him, possibly forever. I doubt he'll ever forgive you. No matter how immoral he was in the last hours of their ugly date, he was still so winning. As all things of mighty power are, and he did have some sort of power. Noone could ever make me feel the way he did, Devi thought sadly. All the time they were sitting atop that oversized hill, she kept comparing his beauty to that of the city below, always finding it much more admirable than any other beauty still left lingering isolated in the world. She wishes she'd have the heart to beg him to return. She wishes she could fall to her knees and beg him to come back to her. She'd tell him how wrong she was, how she's willing to give him another chance. No, she could not. She'd seem too weak. Devi never submits to such pointless feelings, especially love. Love, quite possibly one of the most pointless feelings the human race can experiance. Then why did she succumb to this so-called 'Love' in the first place? She sighed sitting down by her sliding glass doors, staring out into the aggressive city, knowing that there was no other devotion she could find there.  
  
Don't tell me now that this is the only world - oh no  
  
Don't tell me about your point of view  
  
Save it for someone else - what to do  
  
Alone again.  
  
Finally returning home, Johnny sat on his couch, remembering how close Devi and him had almost come. How close he almost came to releasing all his feelings into one exquisite kiss, just one. He sighed, sadly and layed down, stretching almost the full length of the aged sofa. Eventually he would forget about her, eventually. Somewhere, back in the evil part of him, he wishes she would come crawling back to him, just so he could blow her off, tell her to find someone else to leave so creuly. No, that would be too cold of him. He would turn all sentimental and take her back, take her back then eventually ruin their love once more. Ending up the same way he always does. Alone, probably for eternity. With these thoughts, he invited sleep, thanking any God out there that it finally came. Maybe he would forget in the morning. Yes, in the morning.... 


End file.
